Episode 72
What if the pattern you're seeing again isn't a sign that you've gone backward?
What if you're being given the opportunity to see something you couldn't see before — from a completely different angle, from a completely different level of consciousness?
Have you been noticing a thought that keeps looping? An emotional response that feels strangely familiar? A relationship dynamic that you've worked on before, and yet somehow seems to be showing up again?
Maybe you're thinking, “Ah, seriously? This again?”
Or perhaps there's another part of you saying, “Oh yeah. I recognize you. I've been hoping you'd go away.”
If that's happening, you’re not alone and you may actually be right on track. And this is a really interesting time to be experiencing it.
Hi, I'm Joanne Cary. Welcome back to the Embodied Soul podcast.
Today, I want to explore this incredible period of time that we're in right now, and how we can utilize it to our highest benefit.
Because I believe that many of us are being given an opportunity right now to see old patterns, old beliefs, old emotional responses, old ways of being — but to see them from somewhere new.
We're in an eclipse corridor. We're moving through a period of significant energetic change, and there is a lot of support available to us right now for releasing, transmuting, and moving beyond things that no longer need to come with us.
And sometimes, our soul may simply remove something that can't go forward with us.
But we're also being given choice.
We get to choose how we want to see what we're experiencing.
We get to choose how we respond.
We get to choose what action we take.
And we can either move with that current...
Or we can grip onto the tree.
So if you're ready to join me, pull up a comfy chair, invite in your soul, and be open to receive exactly what you need to live, be, and thrive as the embodied soul you are.
——-
I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic as an extension of what we talked about last week around detours.
Because the detours that I've been moving through have provoked me to reflect, to think, to work through different emotions and experiences that have happened in my life so far.
But what has come into my awareness this week is a slightly different layer.
Because we've talked before about patterns returning.
We've talked about noticing our triggers.
We've talked about being present with our emotions and listening to our bodies.
So why does this feel important to talk about again?
I think it's because perhaps the pattern isn't actually returning in the way that we think it is.
Maybe it isn't back.
Maybe we're meeting it again from somewhere new.
Think about the upward spiral.
We may come around to something that looks very familiar, but we're not actually standing in the same place.
We're approaching it from a new level of experience.
A new level of consciousness.
A new perspective.
And so what if the reason we're seeing this thing again isn't because you haven't healed it?
What if you're seeing it because you're ready to see something you couldn't see before?
And this is where the image of the Hanged Man from the Rider-Waite Tarot came into my awareness.
The Hanged Man has suspended himself upside down.
He's not frantically trying to get himself right-side up. He's looking at the world from a different perspective.
And I think that's part of the invitation we're being given right now.
What if the invitation isn't immediately to change the thing — but to change the way we're looking at the thing?
What if, instead of immediately asking, *How do I fix this?*
We pause and ask:
What am I not seeing?
What would this look like from another perspective?
What am I being invited to see with new eyes?
And maybe the answer comes. Or maybe it doesn't come immediately. And that's okay too.
---
Because there's something else I think we can get caught in.
We can have an experience and immediately turn it into:
Okay, what's the lesson?
What am I supposed do to learn from this?
I know I learned this at some point. “Everything is a lesson.”
And that can be really helpful.
It can help us move out of victimhood.
It can help us become curious about our experiences.
It can help us recognize that our experiences can teach us something.
But I think there's another layer available to us as we lift in consciousness.
Maybe everything doesn't have to become a lesson.
Maybe the opportunity is simply awareness.
"Ah…I see that I'm doing that again."
"Ah…I see that I'm trying to control how this person behaves."
"Ah…I see that I really want them to respond in the way I want them to respond."
"Hmm. Isn’t that interesting."
That awareness itself is valuable.
You don't necessarily have to turn it into a five-step spiritual process.
You don't have to sit down and say, "Okay, Universe, what is the deep soul lesson here?"
Sometimes you just notice.
And then you become curious.
"Why did that affect me so strongly?"
That's the doorway.
---
And this is where I think the difference between awareness, action, control, and allowing becomes really important.
Awareness isn't the same as action.
You can become deeply aware of something and not know what to do yet.
Action isn't the same as control.
You can take the step that is yours to take without trying to control what happens afterward.
And allowing isn't the same as passivity.
You can allow something to unfold while still participating fully in your life.
Sometimes allowing means sitting still.
Sometimes it means resting.
Sometimes it means giving yourself space and stillness and inquiry.
Sometimes it means letting an emotion move through you.
And sometimes allowing means taking an action that you've been resisting.
Changing something.
Having a conversation.
Setting a boundary.
Changing a behavior.
Ending something.
Or perhaps simply changing the way you're relating to something.
We don't always know in advance which one it's going to be.
And that's part of the invitation.
---
Because I think there's a subtle trap that we can get into when we're working with patterns.
Let's say you're having a difficult interaction with somebody.
Maybe you don't like how they're treating you.
Maybe you don't like the way they're responding.
Maybe you keep thinking, “If only they would behave differently.”
And then we hear the spiritual teaching:
“Everything is a reflection.”
Everything is a reflection of something we’re holding on the inside.
And we can unconsciously turn that into:
"Okay. If I release my pattern, then they'll change."
"If I do this right, they'll finally treat me the way I want them to."
And sometimes, yes, our shift in response may change the dynamic.
But sometimes it won't.
Because other people have free will.
They're their own beings.
They get to be who they are.
And the invitation isn't necessarily to figure out how to make them become the person we want them to be.
Maybe the awareness is simply:
Ah. I see that I want them to behave the way I want them to behave.
I see that I'm trying to control their response.
Hmm. Interesting.
Can I let them be who they are?
And then:
"What do I need to do, say, or choose in order to allow them to be who they are?"
Maybe the answer is to communicate differently.
Maybe it's a boundary.
Maybe it's changing your own response.
Maybe the relationship changes.
Maybe it doesn't.
Maybe they're not for you.
Maybe you need to walk away.
The point isn't that there's one right answer.
The point is that you're becoming available to seeing what is actually true.
Because changing yourself doesn't mean becoming better at tolerating something that isn't right for you.
Sometimes the shift is realizing:
I don't need to change them.
I need to choose differently for myself.
---
And this brings me back to the patterns that may be showing up for you right now.
Where are the thoughts looping?
Where are the patterns repeating themselves?
Where is something you've worked on before showing up again?
Where are you reacting in a way that you don't actually prefer?
Where is your body contracting?
Where does your energy drop?
Where do you feel heaviness?
Where do you get that sigh, that “ohhhh... this”?
These can be the tap on the shoulder. The little flag going up. "Something is here."
And you don't have to immediately figure out what it means.
You can simply ask:
"What do I need to know about this?
What am I not seeing?
Help me see this with new eyes.
Show me."
And then be open.
Because here's the part that isn't always easy:
Become willing to receive an answer you didn't already decide you wanted.
...Be open to the new. And that's hard.
We want things the way we want things, when we want things, for very good reasons.
Parts of us learned that certain things keep us safe.
Control can feel safe.
Predictability can feel safe.
Knowing the outcome can feel safe.
Being needed can feel safe.
Having enough money can feel safe.
Knowing that someone loves us can feel safe.
Knowing what is going to happen next can feel safe.
And so when we're being invited to loosen our grip, some part of us can say:
“But if I let go of this, what protects me?”
And this is where I think we're being given an opportunity to learn something through our experience.
We can begin to loosen those layers of protection and discover that we don't need them in the same way anymore.
We can allow something new.
We can release a little bit of control and discover that we're okay.
We can stop trying to make someone respond the way we want them to and discover that we're okay.
We can allow ourselves not to know.
We can take a step without knowing exactly where it will lead.
We can let something go without knowing what will replace it.
And the experience itself becomes the evidence.
"Ah. I'm okay…Something else is possible."
---
And sometimes, this is where we discover that we are still holding onto the tree.
The Guides gave me this image a long time ago.
It's like being in a raging storm and gripping onto a palm tree.
Your body is flapping like a flag in the wind, but you're holding on as tightly as you possibly can because you're trying to hold onto safety.
You're trying to hold onto security.
You're trying to hold onto what you know.
Because you don't know what's coming.
You don't see the map.
You don’t see where the wind is taking you.
And you're afraid that if you let go, something terrible will happen.
But what if the invitation isn't:
How can I become more comfortable while holding onto this tree?
What if the invitation is:
Why am I still holding onto the tree?
What am I getting from holding on?
What am I afraid will happen if I let go?
What do I believe this is protecting me from?
And I'm not saying that we should simply drop everything and let go of everything in our lives.
This isn't about being reckless.
This isn't about passivity.
This is about becoming curious about where we're gripping.
Because sometimes the thing we're holding onto is no longer actually protecting us.
It is simply familiar.
And familiar isn't always the same as safe.
---
And this is where I think the energetic support we're receiving right now becomes so important.
We're moving through a time of great change.
We're being supported energetically in releasing and transmuting and seeing what is holding us in heavier frequencies, in patterns that no longer resonate with where we're going.
And sometimes that release is something we consciously participate in.
Sometimes we see it.
We become aware.
We change our perspective.
We take an action.
And sometimes our soul simply removes something.
Something can't go with us.
Something is no longer in resonance.
And we can fight that.
We can try to hold onto it.
We can say, “No. I want it this way.”
And we have free will. We can do that.
But we may also find that the energetic alignment is already moving us somewhere else.
So the question becomes:
“How do I want to move through this?”
Do I want to hold onto the tree until my fingers are exhausted?
Or can I begin to loosen my grip?
Can I allow myself to be moved?
Can I trust that I don't need to know the entire map?
Because where the wind carries us may be toward our next highest expression.
Our next embodiment.
A new way of being that we couldn't have imagined from where we were standing before.
And we won't always see the benefits of that choice while we're making it.
We'll see them in the rearview mirror.
Once we have more information.
Once we're past it.
---
So my invitation to you over the next few weeks — and really, as an ongoing practice — is to become very present with what you're experiencing.
Notice the thoughts.
Notice the emotions.
Notice the body.
Notice the loops.
Notice the repeating patterns.
Notice the things that make you contract.
And instead of immediately saying:
I've already done this.
I've already healed this.
I shouldn't be experiencing this.
Try instead:
Ah. I recognize you.
What are you showing me now?
What might I see differently from where I am today?
What am I still holding onto?
What am I afraid will happen if I let this go?
What am I trying to control?
What would it look like to let this person, this situation, this experience be what it actually is?
And then, ask:
"Show me.
Help me see this with new eyes.
I am open. I allow."
You may get an answer immediately. You may not.
You may discover that there’s an action you need to take.
You may discover that there’s nothing you need to do right now.
You may discover that the thing you thought needed to change isn't actually the thing that needs to change.
And that's okay. There is no right or wrong way to move through this.
Trust yourself.
Trust your inner knowing.
Give yourself enough stillness to hear it.
And don't judge yourself if it doesn't happen as quickly as you'd like.
Because remember the spiral.
You're not necessarily back where you were.
You're meeting it from somewhere new.
And perhaps this time, you can see something you couldn't see before.
---
And I want to say something else, because I know people are tired.
I know we're tired of processing.
We're tired of releasing.
We're tired of looking at ourselves.
And sometimes we can turn even that into another thing we're supposed to do.
Another spiritual assignment.
Another thing to work on.
But you don't have to turn every experience into a spiritual assignment.
Sometimes you just need to rest.
Sometimes you need to change your routine.
Sometimes you need to take care of your body.
Sometimes you need to do something completely unrelated to your spiritual growth.
And sometimes you simply need to be with what is.
The energetics may be supporting us enormously right now, but that doesn't mean we need to effort our way through them.
This is less about doing more.
Less about striving.
Less about forcing.
And more about allowing.
Being present.
Listening.
Taking the step when you know.
Resting when you need to rest.
And allowing the next thing to reveal itself.
---
So perhaps this is the shift we're being invited into.
Not: “Why is this happening to me again?”
But: “What can I see now that I couldn't see before?”
Not: “How do I make this person change, this circumstance change?”
But: “What is this showing me about my own response, my own choices, and what I want for myself?”
Not: “What is the spiritual lesson I'm supposed to learn?”
But: “What am I aware of now?”
And not: How do I make this outcome happen?”
But: “What is mine to do, and what can I allow?”
Because awareness isn't the same as action.
Action isn't the same as control.
Allowing isn't the same as passivity.
And releasing isn't necessarily losing.
Sometimes releasing is making space.
Space for something you can't see yet.
Space for a new perspective.
A new response.
A new relationship with yourself.
A new expression of your life.
A new level of consciousness.
So if something is showing up again right now, don't automatically assume you've gone backward.
Maybe you're simply higher on the spiral.
Maybe you're looking at it from a different place.
Maybe your soul is asking you to turn it upside down.
To see it with new eyes.
To notice where you're still gripping.
And then, when you're ready, to loosen your hand.
You don't have to know exactly where the wind will take you.
You just have to become willing to discover that you may be safe without holding on so tightly.
You are loved.
You are supported.
You are not alone in this.
You're not doing anything wrong.
Stay open.
Be in allowance.
And see what becomes possible when you stop trying to make the experience be what you thought it needed to be and become willing to see what it actually is.
If you’ve enjoyed this episode of Embodied soul, please like, share, subscribe and leave me a comment. Let me know what resonated with you. What are you moving through right now? Because as we share with each other, we support each other in recognizing and moving more easily through the shifts we're all going through. And I look forward to being with you again next week.
