Episode 70
I want to share something that happened to me recently.
And honestly, I don't entirely know what it means.
I don't know whether it was simply a physical experience.
I don't know whether it was connected to the Higher Consciousness Living Summit.
I don't know whether it was energetic, physiological, psychological, spiritual, or some combination of all the things.
And strangely enough...
I'm okay not knowing.
Because what stayed with me wasn't actually what happened.
What stayed with me was how I experienced it.
And one realization that emerged afterward completely changed how I think about my relationship with my body.
And while I still don't fully understand what happened, it opened a question I had never considered before.
A question that changes everything.
So I want to take you on that journey.
If you feel called to join me, pull up a comfy chair, invite in your Soul, your body, and your curiosity, and be open to receive exactly what you need to live, be, and thrive as the Embodied Soul you are.
---
Last week I experienced something I've never experienced before.
On Tuesday, my nose started running.
That was it.
Wednesday, the runny nose disappeared and my throat developed a tickle. I also had some digestive upset that morning.
Thursday, the throat tickle disappeared and a cough arrived.
Friday morning I woke up, went to get out of bed, and my body very clearly informing me that vertical was not happening that day.
At all.
I slept for approximately twenty-two hours.
Body aches.
Fatigue.
Exhaustion.
Just sleep.
Then Saturday arrived.
I woke up feeling almost one hundred percent.
By afternoon, my energy had largely returned.
The whole thing moved through my system in less than a week.
And what fascinated me was the precision.
Each symptom seemed to have its own day.
Nothing lingered.
Nothing overlapped very much.
It was as though each symptom appeared, completed its expression, and then stepped aside for the next one.
I've never experienced anything quite like it.
And if I'm being completely honest, it felt purposeful.
Not that I know what the purpose was.
Not that I know exactly what happened.
But if I were simply describing the feeling of the experience, it felt almost like my system needed to be temporarily unavailable while something integrated.
Like an operating system update.
Like a recalibration.
Like something was working in the background.
Now, am I saying that's what happened?
No. Not necessarily.
I'm simply describing what it felt like.
And that's important.
Because I've become increasingly interested in observation before conclusion.
This happened.
This is how it felt.
This is what I noticed.
And maybe I don't need to know more than that right now.
Because the symptoms weren't actually the interesting part.
The interesting part was my response.
---
At every step of the experience, there was no fear.
No panic.
No: "What's wrong with me?"
No: "When will this end?"
No frantic search for answers.
Instead there was curiosity.
"Oh. My nose is running."
Interesting.
"Oh. My throat is tickling."
Interesting.
"Oh. Apparently we're sleeping today."
Okay.
And that's what surprised me.
Because if this exact same thing had happened ten years ago, my response would have been very different.
I would have pushed through.
I would have worked through it.
I would have prioritized commitments over my body.
I would have convinced myself I could keep going.
In fact, there was one call on Friday that I hadn't cancelled immediately.
And then sometime mid-morning I found myself thinking:
Why would I push through this?
Just cancel.
So I did.
And that may sound like a tiny thing.
But for me it wasn't.
Because for most of my life, my pattern was to override what my body was saying.
To negotiate with it.
To push it.
To expect it to perform.
This time I didn't.
This time I listened.
And I cooperated.
---
Another thing that struck me was that earlier in the week I had already completed and scheduled the videos I needed to release for the week.
Everything had flowed so beautifully on Monday and early Tuesday.
At the time I was simply grateful for the productivity.
But afterward I found myself wondering whether this was part of the grace of this experience.
Because when Friday arrived, there was space.
Nothing urgent.
Nothing critical.
Very little resistance.
I didn't have to fight reality.
I could simply cooperate with it.
And that phrase stayed with me.
Cooperate.
Not surrender in defeat.
Not give up.
Not collapse.
Cooperate.
Work with what was happening instead of against it.
---
As I reflected on the experience afterward, another insight began emerging.
One I've actually been exploring for a while.
The body is its own consciousness.
Not separate from us.
Not beneath us.
Not merely a vehicle.
A partner.
The image that came to me was a three-legged race.
Remember those races where two people stand side by side and their inside legs are tied together?
You can't win by dragging the other person.
You can't win by ignoring them.
You can't win by demanding they move at your pace.
You move together.
You learn each other's rhythm.
You cooperate.
And that's what my relationship with my body has increasingly begun to feel like.
Not me living inside a body.
Me living with my body.
Not management.
Relationship.
Not control.
Partnership.
And I thought that was the insight.
I thought that was where this whole experience was leading.
Until another question appeared.
And that question stopped me in my tracks.
---
For years, I've heard people ask:
Can I trust my body?
It's a beautiful question.
An important question.
But after this experience, another question emerged.
What if my body has been asking a question too?
What if my body has been wondering:
Can I trust her?
Can I trust her to listen?
Can I trust her to hear me?
Can I trust her to respond when I communicate?
Can I trust her when I say I need rest?
Can I trust her when I say enough is enough?
Can I trust her when I ask for a different pace?
Can I trust her when I need care?
And honestly...
That realization hit me harder than anything else.
Because trust isn't built through beliefs.
Trust is built through experience.
The same way it is in any relationship.
You earn trust by showing up consistently.
By listening.
By responding.
By following through.
And suddenly I found myself looking back at that week differently.
My body said:
We're sleeping today.
And for perhaps one of the first times in my life...
I simply said:
Okay.
No argument.
No negotiation.
No guilt.
No forcing.
Just listening.
Just cooperation.
And perhaps what made the experience so meaningful wasn't what happened physically.
Perhaps it was that for the first time, my body received evidence that the relationship had changed.
That I was listening.
That I could be trusted too.
---
Now, I don't know exactly now what happened that week.
I don't know whether it was just a virus.
I don't know whether it was a recalibration.
I don't know whether it was simply the natural intelligence of the body doing what bodies do.
And honestly, I don't feel any need to rush toward an answer.
What I do know is that something shifted.
Something crossed a threshold.
Something opened.
And I suspect I will continue receiving insights about it for months, perhaps years.
But right now, what feels most true is this:
For much of my life, I was asking whether I could trust my body.
I never considered that my body might be waiting to know whether it could trust me.
And perhaps...
last week...
it finally received an answer.
If something in this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you.
Have you ever had an experience where your relationship with your body changed?
Have you ever noticed the difference between pushing through and cooperating?
And what happens if you sit with this question:
Can my body trust me to listen?
As always, take what resonates and leave the rest.
I am sending you so much love.
And I look forward to being with you again next week.
