Episode 64
Have you ever thought you had finally healed something only to find yourself facing it again?
Maybe you’ve done the courses.
Maybe you’ve done the shadow work.
Maybe you’ve spent years exploring, clearing, healing, and growing.
And then one day, out of nowhere, there it is again.
The same fear.
The same trigger.
The same wound.
And a part of you starts to wonder:
“Why is this still here?”
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“Why does it feel like I’m right back where I started?”
If any of those questions resonate, then this episode may be for you.
Because today we’re going to explore why some of our deepest wounds seem to return again and again, and why that may not be a sign that you’re failing at all.
In fact, it may be evidence that your healing is working.
So if you’re ready to join me, pull up a comfy chair, invite in your Soul, and be open to receive exactly what you need to live, be, and thrive as the embodied soul you are.
I’ve been reflecting on another question from our community. And the question was:
“Deep-seated abandonment wound. How do you heal this when you feel like you’ve genuinely tried and keep trying, and yet it still seems to linger?”
I think this theme is going to resonate with a lot of people.
There are many core wounds that we continue to move through, and it can feel discouraging when we’ve worked hard on them. Maybe we’ve done shadow work. Maybe we’ve done healing journeys, activations, clearings, therapy, or inner work of various kinds.
We’ve done the work.
And then, just when we think we’ve finally healed it, there it is again, staring back at us.
It can feel like we’ve failed.
It can feel like nothing is working.
It can feel like this is something we’re going to carry forever.
And after a while, that can be exhausting.
I know there may be some of you listening who are tired.
Maybe you’ve been working on something for years.
Maybe part of you is wondering if it will ever fully release.
Maybe you’re frustrated that you’re seeing this pattern again.
And if that’s where you are, I just want you to know that you’re not alone.
I see you.
Because there have certainly been moments on my own journey where I’ve thought, ‘Really? This again?’
And yet every time I look back, I can see that I wasn’t where I started. I was simply meeting the next layer.
Many years ago, my Guides shared something with me that completely changed how I understood healing.
When we encounter the same wound over and over, it can feel as though we’re moving in circles.
We heal it.
Then we meet it again.
We heal it.
Then we meet it again.
And eventually we start wondering if we’re just stuck.
But what they showed me was that we don’t actually learn in circles. Even if it feels like we’re going around in circles.
We learn in spirals.
That distinction changed everything for me.
Imagine holding your finger out in front of you.
Let that finger represent the wound, the belief, or the pattern you’ve been working with.
If you traced a circle on a tabletop around that point, eventually you’d arrive back at exactly the same place.
Nothing would have changed.
But a spiral works differently.
A spiral continues moving upward.
So when you return to what appears to be the same point, you’re actually meeting it from a higher level.
You’ve grown.
You’ve expanded.
You’ve gained new awarenesses, new tools, new understanding, and new capacity.
And perhaps another way to think about it is like walking up a spiral staircase.
At times you can feel as though you’re passing the same view again and again.
The same window.
The same corner.
The same stretch of wall.
But you’re not where you were before.
Every step has carried you higher.
And healing often works in much the same way.
The important thing is that even when it feels repetitive, you are not standing still.
You are moving.
You’re evolving.
You are progressing.
So when something resurfaces, instead of saying:
“Why is this happening again?”
Perhaps we can begin saying:
“Ah. I’m ready to work with a deeper aspect of this now.”
That is very different.
In fact, it can become something worth celebrating.
Not because the wound itself is enjoyable, but because its appearance means you’re now ready to work with something that previously remained hidden.
Another image that comes to mind is layers of winter clothing.
Imagine you’re bundled up for a freezing day outside.
You have socks, thermal layers, shirts, sweaters, a jacket, mittens, a scarf, a hat.
You don’t remove all of those layers at once.
You take them off piece by piece.
Healing can be similar.
Many of these deeper wounds have accumulated protective layers over years, decades, and perhaps beyond this lifetime.
Each layer served a purpose at some point.
Each layer helped us survive.
And so healing often becomes a gradual process of removing what no longer needs to be carried.
One layer at a time.
One belief at a time.
One protective strategy at a time.
When we understand that, we can stop interpreting the return of a wound as failure.
Instead, we can recognize it as part of the process.
And even that shift in perspective can create more ease in the body.
More ease in the mind.
Because suddenly we’re no longer fighting the healing process.
We’re understanding it.
Sometimes that understanding allows things to move more quickly.
Instead of removing one layer, several layers may loosen at once.
The hooks holding them in place begin to release.
And over time, you’ll likely notice something important.
Some things that used to trigger you, simply don’t anymore.
Maybe years ago a comment about your appearance would have left you feeling hurt, insecure, or defensive.
Now it barely registers.
Not because you’re suppressing it. But because you’ve genuinely changed your relationship with it. You’re no longer sourcing your worth from that place.
I’ve had moments where I’ve almost surprised myself by how differently I’ve responded to something, that once triggered me deeply.
And those moments matter.
Pay attention to them.
They’re evidence.
They’re reminders that your healing is real.
It’s easy to focus on the wounds that remain.
But it’s equally important to notice the ones that no longer hold power over you.
Those moments help build trust.
You may even take a moment now to think of one of those things that just don’t trigger you in this same way.
Trust that the process is working.
Trust that change is happening.
Trust that healing is occurring, even when it feels slow.
And some wounds are simply deeper.
Some have been carried longer.
Some may extend beyond this lifetime’s experiences.
So if you’re facing one of those deeper patterns right now, be gentle with yourself.
You are not failing.
You’re not back at the beginning.
You’re not moving in circles.
You’re moving in spirals.
And for many people listening to this, there is another layer as well.
Many of you have done extensive inner work.
Part of your journey now includes helping support broader collective healing.
As old patterns surface collectively, you may find yourself brushing up against similar themes within your own experience because you’re also participating in a larger process of transformation.
So whether you’re meeting a personal wound, or brushing against something arising within the collective, the question becomes:
What do we actually do when one of these old wounds resurfaces?
Whether it’s abandonment, rejection, betrayal, worthiness, visibility, or any other recurring pattern, here are a few gentle questions you might explore:
What am I believing, or what story am I telling myself right now?
About this situation?
About my life?
About myself?
About the other person?
What part of me feels threatened?
What am I afraid might happen?
What am I needing in this moment?
Is this situation creating the pain, or is it awakening something older within me?
And perhaps the most powerful question of all:
What layer is ready to be seen now?
Not because you need to fix yourself.
Not because you’ve failed.
But because that single question can change the entire experience.
It shifts us from asking,
“Why is this happening again?”
to asking,
“What is ready to be loved, understood, or released?”
And that shift alone can open the door to the next layer of healing.
And because the original question was specifically about abandonment, I want to offer one additional perspective.
Sometimes what we’re experiencing in the present moment isn’t actually abandonment.
Sometimes it’s aloneness.
A friend doesn’t call.
Someone pulls away.
A relationship changes.
And while the current situation may be uncomfortable, it can awaken a much older wound that has been carried for years.
The event happening today may not be what’s creating the depth of what we’re feeling.
It may simply be opening the door to something that was already there waiting to be seen.
So if you’re working with a deep abandonment wound and you’re finding yourself meeting it again, perhaps the invitation is not to ask, ‘Why am I still dealing with this?’
Perhaps the invitation is to recognize that you’re not back at the beginning.
You’re not moving in circles.
You’re moving in spirals.
And every time you meet that wound, you’re meeting it with more awareness, more wisdom, and more of who you truly are.
And perhaps, over time, healing isn’t about never feeling those old wounds again.
Perhaps it’s about learning that when those feelings arise, we no longer leave ourselves.
We stay present.
We stay compassionate.
We stay curious.
We stay with ourselves.
And in doing so, we become the very presence we may have been seeking all along.
If you loved this episode of Embodied Soul, please comment and like, and if you found it supportive, please consider sharing with someone who you feel may benefit from it.
I’m sending you so much love and I look forward to being with you again next week.
