Episode 58
Sometimes the hardest things to let go of are not the things that are broken…
but the things that are still good.
I recently moved through an experience that changed the way I understand endings, alignment, and embodied knowing.
And if you wish to join me, pull up a comfy chair, invite in your Soul, and be open to receive exactly what you need to live, be, and thrive as the embodied soul you are.
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There’s something I’ve been moving through recently that, honestly, surprised me.
And in many ways, I think it changed me.
For probably the last six months — maybe longer — there’s been this recurring feeling moving through my awareness.
This subtle but persistent sense that certain things in my life were ending.
Not because they were bad.
Not because they were failing.
Not because something dramatic had happened.
But simply because… something in me was changing.
And I think this is one of the hardest things for us as humans.
Because once we build something…
once we create something…
once we work hard for something…
once something becomes familiar and safe and loved…
there’s a part of us that naturally wants to hold onto it.
We want to preserve it.
Maintain it.
Keep it going.
Especially if it’s meaningful.
Especially if people value it.
Especially if it’s working.
And so every few months, this thought would come back into my awareness:
“Maybe this is complete.”
“Maybe this has run its course.”
“Maybe it’s time.”
And every single time, something would happen that would pull me back in.
Some new realization.
Some fresh energy.
Some beautiful interaction.
Some reminder of how much love existed within these spaces and communities I had created.
And so I’d think:
“Oh good. Okay. I got over whatever that was.”
And I’d continue on.
But then slowly, over time, the pressure would build again.
And what’s fascinating is that I started realizing it almost felt like my soul was working in waves.
Like every time I integrated a layer, the pressure would temporarily release.
Almost like:
“Okay good, she got that piece. Good. We can ease up for now.”
And then when I wouldn’t fully act on it…
when I’d stay where I was…
the pressure would slowly build again.
And I think many of us experience this.
These cycles.
These loops.
These repeated thoughts that continue returning.
Not necessarily because we’re doing something wrong…
but because there’s another layer asking to be seen.
And through all of this, I kept working on new creations.
New projects.
New ideas.
New things trying to emerge.
But every single time I would move forward bringing them fully into the world…
the energy would stop.
Dead.
And then I’d move through another realization.
Another layer.
Another insight.
And eventually I started understanding something.
What was trying to be born…
did not want to be born from my old energy.
It didn’t want to emerge from old patterns.
Old consciousness.
Old scarcity.
Old worthiness wounds.
Old ways of relating to service and value and giving.
It was as though the creations themselves were waiting.
Waiting for me to become the version of myself capable of holding them differently.
And that changed the way I saw creative blocks entirely.
Because suddenly it didn’t feel like failure.
It felt like preparation.
Like life itself was saying:
“No. Not from here.
Not from this version of you.
There’s another level still unfolding.”
And so I began making small changes.
Tiny energetic shifts.
I updated things.
Removed things.
Changed offers.
Adjusted expectations.
Becoming more aware of my boundaries.
More aware of my own energy.
And each little shift created a little more space.
But still…
there were larger things I wasn’t ready to let go of yet.
And what I remember saying to myself was this:
“I know I’ll receive the exact conversation, the exact message, the exact insight, the exact piece of literature that will illuminate the next thing that needs to shift.”
And that’s exactly what happened.
Because one morning, I woke up…
and I heard, incredibly clearly:
“This is the last call.”
Referring to a weekly call I had been holding for four and a half years.
And naturally, my mind immediately responded:
“What?! Really?”
But then it came again:
“This is the last call.
Today is the last call.”
And what was so extraordinary about this moment was not just the message itself.
It was the texture of it.
The clarity of it.
There was no emotional charge.
No spiraling.
No panic.
No convincing.
It was neutral.
Direct.
Simple.
And there was no question.
And that was new for me.
Because I think many of us who are intuitive…
many of us who connect deeply…
still question ourselves sometimes.
“Am I making this up?”
“Am I just telling myself what I want to hear?”
“Is this really true?”
But this was different.
This cut through all of that.
And even though a small part of me was shocked…
there was another part of me that already knew.
It was done.
And immediately, the image of the Eight of Cups came into my awareness.
Walking away from eight full cups.
Not empty cups.
Not broken cups.
Full cups.
Things that worked.
Things that mattered.
Things that people loved.
And still walking away.
Not because something failed…
but because something else was calling.
And that’s such a different kind of ending.
Because I think many of us only give ourselves permission to leave when something becomes unbearable.
When we’re exhausted.
Burned out.
Resentful.
Broken.
But what if we were allowed to leave simply because something no longer feels fully aligned?
What if completion doesn’t always look like destruction?
And this is where it became deeply personal for me.
Because I love the people connected to these spaces.
I love what we created together.
There was safety there for me too.
Connection there for me too.
And when I announced that it was the final call…
it was emotional.
There was grief.
There was sadness.
There was loss.
And later that afternoon, I remember sitting there thinking:
“Oh my God… what have I done?”
And yet right beside that feeling…
was another presence.
Another knowing.
Quietly saying:
“This was the right decision.
You’re okay.
Just wait and see.”
And I think this is where embodied knowing becomes really important.
Because embodied knowing does not mean you don’t feel grief.
It doesn’t mean things are emotionally easy.
It means that underneath the emotions…
there is still clarity.
There is still truth.
And one of the deeper things I’ve been realizing through all of this is that part of my own growth has involved understanding that my experience matters too.
That how something feels for me matters too.
That I don’t need to continue something solely because it supports someone else if it’s no longer alive within me in the same way.
And that’s hard for many of us.
Especially those of us who naturally give.
Support.
Care.
Hold space.
Because sometimes, we unconsciously learn that our value comes through service.
Through being needed.
Through continuing.
And this process has really asked me to look at that.
To ask:
Am I doing this because it genuinely enlivens me?
Or because part of me feels responsible?
And there’s no blame in that.
No villain in that.
This isn’t about anyone doing anything wrong.
It’s about recognizing when our own soul is evolving beyond the energetic architecture we’ve been living inside of.
And allowing ourselves to listen.
Not because someone else tells us to.
Not because spirituality says we should.
Not because some external teaching says expansion requires destruction.
But because somewhere inside ourselves…
we simply know.
And until that knowing arrives, maybe there’s still another layer unfolding.
Another insight.
Another conversation.
Another realization.
But when it truly lands…
there is no question.
And maybe that’s what I really wanted to share today.
That sometimes it’s okay to let go of something…
even when it isn’t broken.
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And maybe, if something in this resonated with you today, I’d simply invite you to become curious this week.
Curious about the places in your life where you may be feeling a subtle loss of aliveness.
Not necessarily dramatic.
Not catastrophic.
Just… quieter than it once was.
Maybe there’s a thought that keeps returning.
A question that keeps looping.
A part of you that keeps nudging at the edges of change.
And rather than rushing to fix it, or force an answer, maybe just sit with it.
Maybe ask yourself:
‘What is this trying to show me?’
‘What part of me is evolving here?’
‘What would it feel like to trust my own timing?’
And maybe most importantly…
Can you allow yourself to know that endings are not always failures?
Sometimes they are simply the soul making space for what comes next.
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And wherever you find yourself right now in your own unfolding…
I hope this reminds you that your inner knowing is not something outside of you.
It lives within your body.
Within your truth.
Within the quiet places that already know.
And maybe you don’t need to force the next step.
Maybe you simply need to keep listening.
If you loved this episode of Embodied Soul, please like, comment, and subscribe. It really does support getting these messages out to those who need them.
And I look forward to being with you again next week.
