Episode 56
Have you ever had someone comment on your life in a way that completely misses your lived experience…
but somehow still gets under your skin?
There’s a moment that happens so fast most people miss it—
the moment you start adjusting yourself to meet someone else’s expectation.
And that’s exactly what I watched happen inside of me this week…
…I’m back down at the beach, if you’re ready to join me, pull up a comfy chair, invite in your Soul and be open to receive exactly what you need to live, be and thrive as the embodied soul you are.
So last week I shared my reflection on my experience on the farm and waterfall tour that I had recently been on. After it was released, I was loving reading all your comments, and how it really resonated with people. I loved all the ways you shared your own version of the experience and how it played out in your life. And then I read this one comment:
"You did all that but no one took a picture of the actual event?!?! I’m moving on to a channel that has real events.”
And then, as I was joined by many of my Inner Parts, I noticed a rapid cascade of nervous system and emotional responses—
The confusion,
The contraction,
The bracing,
The meaning-making and
the old familiar pull of not being enough trying to land.
The first part of me that showed up was the one experiencing a bit of what would be called “cognitive dissonance”—
that disconnect between what I experienced—hanging off rock walls, the ground falling out from under my feet, not knowing if I could make it out—and someone wondering why I didn’t have photos to prove it.
This part was like - WTF? What?!
That part was followed by one who felt hurt by it, felt the disapproval. The loss.
Then quickly showing up, the part of me that’s grounded in my own authority - the one who said “I don’t have to live up to anyone else's expectations of me. I can do what I want”.
And then a deeper, vaster aspect of me arrived, as I paused and sat with all my parts, all my responses, and observed them. That’s when a few insights and revelations landed.
The first one around expectations. We don't have to perform. We don't have to meet others expectations of us. We don't have to do what others say we should.
Often, when we feel the need to meet others’ expectations, there’s a subtle fear… or an old pattern underneath it.
But the even deeper layer to that is, for me -
how quickly we internalize those expectations and turn them on ourselves.
Because here’s the thing - there was a part of me that wished I had more video, more images to share from that day. I HAD tried to use what I had - but there were too many others in the captures who I didn’t have permission to share of them, and the videos were more portrait to try to capture the scale and they don’t work well on Youtube.
And so what was so clear to me is that desire to have included more - to have shared more - that frequency even ever so subtle, was anchored in the finished product.
So the energy behind the comment, was in resonance, or alignment to the part of me that tried to give video of the adventure and couldn't. It was a reflection of my own inner judgment. A judgement that I got to see, feel and release.
It wasn’t about blame—it was about resonance.
It showed me the part of me that was already questioning myself.
Not because I did anything wrong—but because it gave me something to see.
But for me, that episode wasn’t about the event itself, it wasn’t about a performance, or proof of the experience I had. It was about the lessons I learned through it. It was about the larger context we’re moving through as a humanity that was reflected in it.
And yet, so quickly that part of me who wants to fit it, belong, be approved of, wanted me to start shaping experiences differently. For me to start sharing differently. And I give a lot of love to that part - because it’s been with me since I was a kid. It’s a very strong safety pattern.
So here are a few of the takeaways I’d offer you this week, as we continue to navigate this shift in consciousness:
The first takeaway is to start noticing the cascade—
that rapid sequence of reaction in your body and emotions.
The confusion. The contraction. The meaning-making. The not-enoughness.
Most of us skip over that and go straight into reacting or reshaping ourselves.
Takeaway two: separate the moment from the meaning.
What someone says… and what it activates in you… are not the same thing.
The comment wasn’t the whole story—
it was the point of contact.
It landed on something that was already there in me.
Takeaway three: notice where you’re about to self-abandon.
There was a moment where I could feel the pull to adjust…
to share differently… to shape future experiences differently.
That’s the moment to catch.
That’s the moment to catch… before you leave yourself
Not when everything has already shifted—
but right there, at the edge of leaving yourself.
Takeaway four, your lived experience is your authority.
You don’t need to prove what you lived to anyone.
And you don’t need to reshape your reality to make it more digestible or valid to someone else.
AND… That doesn’t mean we won’t feel things…
but it does mean we don’t have to override our own knowing.
Takeaway five, what you carry, echoes back.
Even the subtle parts of us—like “this should have been different”
or “I wish I had done more”—
those get felt.
And sometimes life reflects that back—not to confirm it,
but to show it to us.
We are in such a crazy time right now. Of having revealed to us those things that are ready to release. And our Soul uses absolutely every experience that we have, in each moment, to show us the resonance that isn’t in resonance—the dissonance with where we are heading.
Finally, takeaway six, You can hold all parts of you without letting them lead.
I didn’t need to get rid of the hurt part…
or the part that wanted approval…
But I also didn’t let them decide how I see myself or how I move forward.
I believe that everything that shows up for us, moment to moment, is a gift to learn and grow from.
And it’s a choice how we respond to it, once we’re aware of it.
That’s both the catalyst for healing… and the springboard for moving forward in consciousness.
So maybe this week…
just start noticing those moments.
Not to fix them.
Not to get it right.
But to gently bring yourself back—
to your own experience… your own knowing… your own authority.
If you loved this episode of Embodied Soul, please like, comment, subscribe. It really does support getting the messages out to those who need them.
And I look forward to being with you again next week.
